The bane of the first mentor

On many previous occasions, I have spoken about how happy I am to be able to work with research-naive undergrads and other students and see them develop into good researchers. Now, let me talk about something that faculty in places like India whisper to each other about. We train people and just when they are ready to do high-quality research, they... leave. While we are proud of our students' achievements, there is still a bit of FOMO attached to it. We train people, investing a lot more time and energy than a typical mentor in the West needs to since they get well-prepared and experienced students—grad school admissions in the US for example, are so competitive now that many people already have a publication by the time they start their PhD. So, there is a bit of FOMO when these folks go to labs in other countries where our colleagues there reap the benefits. Combined with the already low-resource environment we work in, it is hard for Indian labs to stay competitive in the global landscape. Of course, this is how the world works. This is how I also went about my own journey (but this is not the real topic of this post; there is a totally separate point I will develop below). 

My undergrad physics research mentor probably had a tough time since I had no idea about research or about various matters of research etiquette, etc. I once emailed another physics prof saying, "Could you tell me what marks I got on the exam?" and he sent a strongly worded reply about why I should be using the word "please" in such communications. Hence, "Could you please tell me..." was the right way to word that email. I can't recall if he let me know how I performed on the exam. At the time, I was quite annoyed and thought that he was a bully. However, I never forgot the lesson and I believe that helped me when I went to the US. I never forgot my pleases and thank yous. If and when I meet that prof again (I haven't been back to IITK since graduating), I will thank him. 

What I am about to say is somewhat related to the matters of gratitude and student attitudes I described in the last post. The bane of the first research (or otherwise) mentor is that they sometimes have to say such things to students. I, for example, have had to tell students that opening their laptops and being on WhatsApp Web or whatever is not appropriate during lab meetings. While that behavior stopped, I now see people glued to their phones during journal clubs or lab meetings. If I were to confront them, they would probably tell me they were reading the paper on the phone. However, looking uninterested and being glued to the phone for the entire duration is still not appropriate. Similarly, I sometimes see people whispering and laughing during presentations (even if I am the one presenting). Again, not appropriate. Now, if I raise the issue with the specific people who do this, that will leave a bad taste in everyone's mouths. That leads to a certain negativity in the mentor-mentee relationship that everyone carries with them. So I really hate having to bring up such matters but such is the bane of the first mentor. Future mentors enjoy better working relationships with these students since, especially when students board a flight and land in the US/Europe, they tend to suddenly be mindful of etiquette, respect, and gratitude. I sometimes feel like none of us have come out of a colonial mindset. 

This is not an isolated experience. We once had a research student who went abroad (very early on in their journey, might I add) for a summer school with my letter of support and, upon returning to India, stopped coming to the lab. They tried to find European collaborators behind my back for the project ideas we had discussed. When that failed, they returned, and I ended up helping them publish and graduate from the program despite that behavior (and that wasn't the only thing they did, btw). They now do not have a letter of recommendation from me but have managed to convince some lab in the West that the issues they had with the previous adviser (i.e., me) were not their fault. I am glad they found a position even though, given the integrity issues, I did not find them suitable for a higher research degree. I hope they change their ways and succeed. That experience has stopped me from supporting travel abroad for workshops until people gain some experience and have worked on their skills and matured a bit in the lab. 

So, in summary, this is the bane of the first mentor: having to actively navigate really challenging behaviors in the quest of training research-naive students, which inevitably leaves a bad taste (because no one likes to be called out) but then, some are grateful for the lessons, and some aren't. Fortunately, in my experience so far, the latter is a small minority.